Tag: priorities

The True Thief of Joy

“True simplicity is about bringing order to complexity.”

Sir Jony Ive, Apple’s Design Wizard

“The beauty of truth is its complexity.” ~Unknown

Life is complex and complicated. It’s the human condition. It is apparent to me that it was designed to be this way. Living life as a human being has always been about pain, struggle, problem-solving and decision-making. Survival of each hour, day, week, etc., depends upon one’s ability to figure out the complexity so that the pain is minimal, the struggle is manageable, the problems are solvable, and choices result in the most desirable outcomes.

About 6 years ago, a friend shared with me a year-long online course for which she had signed up. I took a look and decided it was a great idea and would be fun. I bought the course and became a paying member of a community that has inspired me forward ever since. The name of the course was “Simple Year” and the architect was Courtney Carver. Courtney and her genius can be found at http://www.bemorewithless.com. The purpose and defined outcomes for “Simple Year” resonated with me and included ideas, activities and resources for learning how life could be more intentionally lived. There was an emphasis on simplicity. Each month, Courtney introduced us to a new voice and personality with ideas and insights for creating more intentionality and better results in a particular area of life. We dived deeply into areas such as finances, our home environment, schedules, health and wellness, travel, etc., et. al. The featured leaders of each monthly module varied and the year was kicked off in January with two friends, Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus, better known as The Minimalists.

One of the optional activities shared for the month, focusing on simplicity in our living spaces, was the Mins Game. I invited my husband to play and the two of us had a lot of fun that January. The Mins Game focuses on the strategy of decluttering as a means of achieving simplicity in your home by intentionally identifying and removing useless items that many of us accumulate over time. The result is intended to provide you with a home that feels calm and serves your family better. It was simple – and just a reminder, simple does not translate into easy – and I have to say the challenge also became a lot of fun! It produced much laughter and some great competition. It also resulted in a lot of donations and more cleared, calm space in our home.

The rules of the Mins game are simple. On January 1st – or whatever first day of the month you choose – you get rid of one item you no longer need, use or love. On the 2nd, you get rid of two more, on the 3rd day of the month, three more items must leave, and so on. You get the picture. The real fun begins around the 25th day of the month, especially when two of you are playing. And, yes, on January 31 of that year, we removed 62 items out of our house! (Just a hint, should you decide to play the game during spring cleaning in May, save your kitchen junk drawers for the last few days of the month. I’m pretty sure everyone can find 31 useless pens, or paper clips, or thumb tacks!) Actually, on January 31, we donated more than 62 DVD’s to our local library! Win-win!

When you add it up mathematically, it equals 496 items, each. That January we removed over 1,000 items. Some were sold, some were donated, and true junk was trashed.

We’ve played the Mins game twice and probably need to play a couple more times, now that our four ‘kids’ are grown adults.

That experience was 1/12 of the Simple Year course. It had a significant impact on my vision and mission for this new chapter. I liken it to a ‘mid-life detox’. It has also created my #2 Highest Priority ~ to live a life of simplicity and intentionality. Why? As author Gretchen Rubin says, “outer order, inner calm.” I value orderliness and inner calm. After 39 years of a highly demanding career, coupled with raising four children active in sports year round (35 of the 39 years), I am ready for the simplicity, the calm, and the empty spaces. It serves my heart, body, mind and soul well. It helps me to honor self first. As Rick Rubin says, so eloquently, in his new book, The Creative Act: A Way of Being, ‘make art that moves YOU.’ He says to think of the audience last. It’s brilliant wisdom and advice. Those are my why’s for choosing simplicity and intentionality as Priority #2. I call it “living by subtraction” ~ intentionally taking away, removing, and stopping the things that inadvertently steal our joy. Because the true thief of joy is excess. Less has truly given me more.

What can you take away, remove, and/or stop doing that would give you more? More calm, more solitude, more peace, more time, more money, love, health, joy….? Living by subtraction really adds up!

In next week’s post, I’ll delve into my ends in mind, my SMART goal aligned to support this priority, and the action steps I am taking to move me closer to ‘more’, my specifically defined outcomes.

Thank you for stopping by and spending some of your precious time and energy to read my post today. I appreciate you and wish you kind and simple moments. Live inspired!

The Importance of Congruence

“A healthy person has a thousand wishes; a sick person has only one.”

Agnes Karll-Schwest (Krankenpfleger), pioneering German nurse

Often most of us create, maintain and work from a ‘to do’ list. I’m so motivated by mine that I will even add, and then cross off, something I completed that wasn’t even on the list to begin with. If that makes you laugh, then you know!

A brilliant colleague of mine once asked us during a team meeting, when was the last time you referenced your ‘to be’ list? In other words, what is it you want to be each and every day? It was an insightful question to pose. The majority of us were surprised at the depth and value of this question. We admittedly had not recently consulted, or updated, our ‘to be’ lists. The activity went on to include time for considering what we wanted on our ‘to be’ list and then we continued to be enlightened with the idea that our ‘to do’ list should be reflective of our ‘to be’ list. If I want to be a patient person, then when I am on hold, or waiting in a long line at the grocery store, what is it I want to be doing? When we are living with congruence, our ‘being’ and ‘doing’ are aligned.

My highest priority for this chapter, #1 in importance, is achieving a very long, healthy lifespan. My why behind establishing this as my #1 is simply stated in the opening quote. Because it’s true.

Another reason for this being my #1 is because health is wealth. Good health is the foundation for creating everything else. When I am healthy, I am positioned to chase all my other dreams.

And lastly, my focus on optimal health is to achieve longevity. (The longest living human being was a French woman, Jeanne Louise Calment, who lived to be 122. She passed away in 1997. “I’ve waited 110 years to be famous. I count on taking advantage of it,” she quipped at her 120th birthday party.) I want to be Jeanne when I grow up. Why? It’s my most significant and meaningful reason. My youngest child, my only daughter, was born days before my 40th birthday. (We are both Libras. ;-)) She is 16 years younger, to the day, than my first born son. She once said to me, “it’s not fair that Adam will get to love you longer than me no matter what.” My heart sank with her 5-year old brilliance. I promised myself at that moment I would do everything in my power to be sure I will be here to celebrate her 60th birthday. That end in mind set my goal and created my personal mission to become a healthy, vibrant centenarian. Therefore, healthy longevity is my #1 highest priority and those are the why’s behind it.

I want to be a healthy, fit, vibrant human being for a really long time. So what needs to be on my ‘to do’ list that aligns to and supports this highest priority?

Once you have identified your priority and can articulate the why and values behind it, the next crucial step in bringing that vision (mental creation) to fruition (physical creation) is to be able to know when you have achieved progress. What will your measure of achievement look like, sound like and feel like? This is where a SMART or wildly important goal comes into play! This is where the fun begins! What do you want to get by focusing on this highest priority?

My #1 highest priority is healthy longevity to and beyond October, 2061. What do I need to achieve today, next week, this month, this year, in 5 years, and this decade in order to live in congruence? I’ve captured my progress benchmarks in tiny steps as well as larger, long-term goals using the SMART rubric for creating goals. My goals are all linked to the largest contributors to healthy longevity – what I eat, what I weigh (metabolic health), how often and how I move, my sleep habits, how I manage stress and with whom I connect emotionally on a regular basis. (“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”)

Every single one of those contributors are within my circle of control, which means I can do something about each one and I can influence their impact on my life and my health ~ heart, body, mind and soul.

One of my current goals relates to what I choose to eat, and avoid eating, and what I weigh. My SMART goal statement is: I will go from 156lbs to 129lbs by September 1, 2023. Why is this important? Because the research and science show, repeatedly, that people who maintain an optimal body weight with good metabolic health live longer and with markedly less chronic diseases. 129lbs is more optimal for my 5’3″ frame. 156lbs was considered medically overweight, which does not support my highest priority.

Once your goal is specifically stated, is measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound, it’s time to get down to business and DO something that will move the needle. (What I do will determine what I get.) What do I need to do to move that needle from 156 to 129? After much research – reading many books, listening to countless podcasts, I landed on a few action steps I concentrate on each day and track on my daily/weekly calendar. It’s my ‘scoreboard’. “If I do this, I will get that” is the guiding process. Again, simple, but not necessarily easy. If it was, everyone would do it.

My action steps begin with a 16:8 intermittent fasting practice which means I fast – no food, no calories – from 7pm to 11am, 16 hours, and I eat 2 meals and one snack between 11am and 7pm. I have an 8-hour window for my meals and snack every day. In my fasted state, each morning, I exercise and move. I walk/jog between 4 to 5 15-minute miles, followed by 51 squats, and 20 side lunges at least 5 days a week. Additionally, I use free weights and my own body weight to do a 15-minute strength training for my upper body – shoulders, triceps, and biceps – to maintain muscle and create definition.

When I eat, my meals and snacks consist mainly of whole real foods, lots of fruits and vegetables, beans, whole grains, nuts & seeds, wild caught salmon and seafood and as much homemade food as possible. This includes homemade hummus, salad dressings and guacamole, an all time favorite staple, which I eat often! (check out my Instagram @jolene4kids)

I choose not to consume ultra-processed ‘stuff’. In other words, if a third grader can’t read the ingredient list on the bag or box, or you can’t tell what the ‘food’ is by the ingredient list, or it’s something my grandmother wouldn’t recognize, I don’t buy it and I don’t consume it. The experts in the health and longevity space will tell you it isn’t real food and it does real harm to the eight intracellular processes in the body. No, thank you. It’s a hard pass and a line I have drawn in my sand.

I am choosing less alcohol, less gluten and much less added sugar. I am enjoying more mocktails, whole grains, and the joy of fresh fruit. And my daily regimen definitely includes high quality, fair trade dark, dark chocolate!

Those are a few representative action steps toward my current SMART goal that are helping me move the needle and achieve progress. To date, I have lost 17lbs and have moved the needle from 156 to 139. I am now focused on going from 139 to 129, losing 10 more pounds by September 1, 2023. It is attainable and realistic and I am on track to achieve it. It will also contribute to my metabolic health and longevity.

How will I celebrate this accomplishment? (Celebration is very important to the success of your goal!) I will get to go ‘shopping’ in my very own closet (free new clothes!) and my husband and I are taking a two-week vacation to Ireland to celebrate our 42nd wedding anniversary later this summer!

Now it’s YOUR turn!! What is your highest priority and why? What would success look like, sound like, and feel like? What would you need to do to move the needle that you aren’t doing now? How would you celebrate your achievement? Remember, you are worth it! Taking care of self IS the highest priority, for when we have our health, we can have a thousand wishes. Dream big, my friend!

Thank you for choosing to take time, stop and read these thoughts today. I appreciate your time and genius. I hope something has resonated with you and helps you live an inspired life!

Up next week, highest priority #2! A sneak peek ~ it’s “simple”.

The Value of Beginning with Why

“People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it.”

~Simon Sinek

Image by tess from Pixabay

“People don’t care what you know until they know you care.”

For 40 years I have had the opportunity to serve as a leader in the field of education. The first 10 years, I was a leader in a classroom, designing and facilitating learning experiences, creating an environment that communicated “you are welcome, safe and loved” and learning as much as I could so that first and fourth graders were well served. I loved going to ‘work’ every day, because I loved ‘my kids’.

From there, I got to move into an assistant principal’s role, and then a building principal. For the next 17 years I served as leader of an entire school community. It’s the best (and at times, the worst) job in education! I was the beneficiary of countless meaningful experiences and relationships. I loved every day, because I valued the hardworking staff who helped all of our students be successful, safe, nourished, and master-taught. I loved our students and their families and enjoyed being with them, serving as their dedicated and committed leader.

I then moved onto a new role as a leader of leaders and accepted an opportunity to design professional learning experiences for principals and teacher leaders. They were all impressive exemplars in the field and I was once again the beneficiary of rich and rewarding relationships and moments. That chapter closed with the amazing opportunity to serve as a leadership coach, coaching schools through a school improvement process to achieve better results. This may have been the leadership role that impacted me more than any. It really brought a new and unprecedented emphasis to my why’s. It was indeed inspiring ~ both the people and the work.

The thousands of people I’ve had the great fortune to work with in my career as an educator didn’t buy what I did, but they did buy why I did it. They knew why I did what I did, because I lived my why. My purpose as a leader in all those different roles was to connect with people, support their genius, believe in them, help them grow, and celebrate them! That was my purpose and everything I did was rooted in those five why’s.

In 2009 I watched a TEDx Talk by Simon Sinek titled, “How Great Leaders Inspire Action.” In 2010 I shared that video and his related book, “Start With Why”, with 40 principals who had joined a Principals Academy initiative I was leading. The content of his TED Talk and his book has inspired me ever since.

The most important action to take when creating something is to clearly define “why?” Why? Because that is the first question most people will ask. Curious and courageous people will ask out-loud; critics and skeptics will utter it to themselves. But everyone will always ask it. So it seems to make perfect sense to begin there.

For the past 15 months, since retiring from full time work I have spent countless hours contemplating and writing about my next chapter. It’s kind of a reset thing in life. Big life event = reset. A large piece of that contemplation was ‘what is my why now?’ What purpose do I want to serve ? I re-read Sinek’s book as well as “Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life,” by Francesc Mirales and Hector Garcia. Ikigai is, in translation, what gets you up and excited about each day. It resonated with me as another way to think about my why.

I found the process for defining why in a new chapter to be more a “backward design”. First, I actually had envisioned my goals for this new decade, life in my 60’s, and what means the most to me. I captured those ends in mind and titled them my seven highest priorities. Then I asked myself, ‘why are these my highest priorities?’ That led me to exploring what I value most at this point in life and I was able to provide definition to my whys.

Today, they are all very clear to me and I can articulate them with clarity and confidence. They were a necessary link for designing my action steps that will move me forward toward achieving my highest priorities.

Our why drives everything else which brings light once again to Simon Sinek’s wise recommendation to “start with why.” It determines what we say, do, feel, think, plan and what we say, do, feel, think and plan determines what results we will get. In this new chapter, I want even better results, different results, so I started with my whys. In next week’s post, I’ll be sharing my first of seven highest priorities, the why behind it, as well as the action steps I’ve designed for this year’s progress toward the related goal. I hope you will join me!

Who or what inspires you to be better? Why? What is your highest priority in this chapter? How do you know?

Thank you for stopping by and spending some of your precious time and energy to read my post today! I appreciate you and wish you kind and simple moments. Live inspired ~ on purpose!